The Others


In the third world to which I belong there are so many things that don’t feel right to me and I am compelled time and again to ponder about the views that society inherits from their past generations. One such view that has itself well rooted into the thinking ground of my world is the degraded views and manner towards the others, with which I mean the eunuchs also called as the hijra and “.5”.
I have seen many documentaries featuring their lives and their ways and have come to meet and befriend a few too and in that process learned about their grief and hurt and pain that hides behind that well made decorated face of theirs.
Aishwarya (named changed) dashed into me on the road asking me in a kind of a threatening way to pay up or else she would let the pallu (front cloth covering the jacket) of her sari slip or would even lift up her lehenga (skirt). Her face was really beautiful with a light make-up and blush and she had all the curvatures of a grown woman. My thought process halted for a moment and it took me a moment before my senses rushed back to me and I understood that Aishwarya was actually an eunuch. She said “paisa do varna...”- “give me money or else....”  I looked at her and smiled and did not take a step away from her though she pretended that she was about to fall on me. I said “ why do you do this.. you have two hands and two legs.. why don't you work instead and live honourably.” That threatening face of hers melted away and was transposed with a face that wanted to say a lot but had to keep quiet. She walked away silently....
It’s not just the rejection from the society and the family that rips their withins everyday but in some cases the rejection of self. Imagine a small child who fails to comprehend why is  its behaviour so different and away from the norms. Nobody to tell it why. Failing again and again to acquire the love of family and friends for a  reason not clear enough. Where shall it go, whom shall it turn to at the end of the day. Even the mother fails to take that child in her embrace and give it the warmth –that we all so called normal people find so precious. Thrown away and discarded they go to this one place of their own where they find peace and solace and a way of life- the hijras way. The society does not want them, the family wouldn’t like to see their faces even. Then being the hijra becomes their last resort, their salvation and a way to feed themselves and stay alive. Whose fault is it? Theirs or ours that today they have to threat and beg.
“When nobody wants us then what shall we do babu. ” said rukmini (name changed).” Nobody understands that I did not do this to myself, god made me like this.” “we cant even get a job – they don't want us at their place.” – she said.
I was left puzzled and frustrated for a moment and thought that what have we humans really turned into now. Are we still sane enough. We the self-appointed wardens of the society.
People are scared of eunuchs as they come and barge into offices and homes asking for money and if not paid off they turn violent at times. We are always ready to blame them .Ready to run away. Running away from them is what has led to this i believe. When Aishwarya was small if her parents would have taken enough care and given her enough love and helped her get educated , I wouldn't have met her on that road and probably I wouldn't be writing this today.
Whom shall I really blame I do not know. But what i do know is that it is time for all of us to change and have a better view towards them “others.” I hope those who do read this now shall frame a different perspective towards “others” and if possible try to change a few of them and re-integrate them into this society as able bodied people who deserve more.
Remember that you too could have Aishwarya in your home and if you do - act accordingly now. Don’t forget that they are humans too just like me and you, just without a functioning part. Get in their shoes to see their world and then may be we shall understand what is it like to be-“the others.”

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