I have seen many documentaries featuring their lives and
their ways and have come to meet and befriend a few too and in that process
learned about their grief and hurt and pain that hides behind that well made
decorated face of theirs.
Aishwarya (named changed) dashed into me on the road asking
me in a kind of a threatening way to pay up or else she would let the pallu
(front cloth covering the jacket) of her sari slip or would even lift up her
lehenga (skirt). Her face was really beautiful with a light make-up and blush
and she had all the curvatures of a grown woman. My thought process halted for
a moment and it took me a moment before my senses rushed back to me and I
understood that Aishwarya was actually an eunuch. She said “paisa do varna...”-
“give me money or else....” I looked at
her and smiled and did not take a step away from her though she pretended that
she was about to fall on me. I said “ why do you do this.. you have two hands and
two legs.. why don't you work instead and live honourably.” That threatening face
of hers melted away and was transposed with a face that wanted to say a lot but
had to keep quiet. She walked away silently....
It’s not just the rejection from the society and the family
that rips their withins everyday but in some cases the rejection of self.
Imagine a small child who fails to comprehend why is its behaviour so different and away from the
norms. Nobody to tell it why. Failing again and again to acquire the love of
family and friends for a reason not
clear enough. Where shall it go, whom shall it turn to at the end of the day. Even
the mother fails to take that child in her embrace and give it the warmth –that
we all so called normal people find so precious. Thrown away and discarded they
go to this one place of their own where they find peace and solace and a way of
life- the hijras way. The society does not want them, the family wouldn’t like
to see their faces even. Then being the hijra becomes their last resort, their
salvation and a way to feed themselves and stay alive. Whose fault is it?
Theirs or ours that today they have to threat and beg.
“When nobody wants us then what shall we do babu. ” said
rukmini (name changed).” Nobody understands that I did not do this to myself,
god made me like this.” “we cant even get a job – they don't want us at their
place.” – she said.
I was left puzzled and frustrated for a moment and thought
that what have we humans really turned into now. Are we still sane enough. We
the self-appointed wardens of the society.
People are scared of eunuchs as they come and barge into
offices and homes asking for money and if not paid off they turn violent at times.
We are always ready to blame them .Ready to run away. Running away from them is
what has led to this i believe. When Aishwarya was small if her parents would
have taken enough care and given her enough love and helped her get educated , I wouldn't have met her on that road and probably I wouldn't be writing this
today.
Whom shall I really blame I do not know. But what i do know
is that it is time for all of us to change and have a better view towards them
“others.” I hope those who do read this now shall frame a different perspective
towards “others” and if possible try to change a few of them and re-integrate
them into this society as able bodied people who deserve more.
Remember that you too could have Aishwarya in your home and
if you do - act accordingly now. Don’t forget that they are humans too just like
me and you, just without a functioning part. Get in their shoes to see their
world and then may be we shall understand what is it like to be-“the others.”
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