As a young girl, I’ve not loved anyone more than my Father.
Yes, to everyone who asked, “Who do you love more, Mom or Dad”? My reply was, without
any hesitation, “MY DAD”. I never gave a thought to what my mother would feel
hearing this which she often did. Later, people didn’t ask. Neither will they
ever again.
My dad was all that I ever wanted. He did everything possible for me… wake me up in the morning, when I used to cling on to him like a baby monkey to the mother and without any trouble, he carried me around for a while and once I was completely up, took care of brushing my teeth, bathing and getting me ready to school. Drop and pick me up from school inevitably followed. Weekend meant going out for sure and sometimes eating out too.
He was a businessman by profession and had flexible timings while my mother is a central government employee. Hence my father would be home when I had half days, holidays, etc. and I spent most of my time with him.
He was a Great cook and helped my mother in daily chores. I have an elder brother who was scared of my father and I, the fearless and charming daughter, was my bro’s ambassador whenever he wanted some money or wanted to go out to play with friends.
I was literally a princess, a father’s daughter…
I vaguely remember the time when I was learning to read Telugu Newspaper and came across this word ‘Collector’. Then of course my father was with me and he explained that it is the highest designation of an IAS officer and happened to first introduce the word which had very little significance for me then.
My dad was all that I ever wanted. He did everything possible for me… wake me up in the morning, when I used to cling on to him like a baby monkey to the mother and without any trouble, he carried me around for a while and once I was completely up, took care of brushing my teeth, bathing and getting me ready to school. Drop and pick me up from school inevitably followed. Weekend meant going out for sure and sometimes eating out too.
He was a businessman by profession and had flexible timings while my mother is a central government employee. Hence my father would be home when I had half days, holidays, etc. and I spent most of my time with him.
He was a Great cook and helped my mother in daily chores. I have an elder brother who was scared of my father and I, the fearless and charming daughter, was my bro’s ambassador whenever he wanted some money or wanted to go out to play with friends.
I vaguely remember the time when I was learning to read Telugu Newspaper and came across this word ‘Collector’. Then of course my father was with me and he explained that it is the highest designation of an IAS officer and happened to first introduce the word which had very little significance for me then.
Life was amazing… I had no pressure from home about my
studies... no complaints…
Then 12th Feb, 1999 came that had changed my
world and life forever. It has been 14 years since my dad passed away. I was
10, a girl too small to understand death. Completely shaken and shocked I didn’t
find tears for a whole 3 days. And days and months passed which I simply spent
crying hidden under a cot or behind the water tank. Of course I went to school,
studied… but there was a deep void.
I dreamt of my dad very very often that it seemed as though my
real life is the actually a dream and my dreams were real.
Even now at times, after all these years… my gaze turns
hazy, i’m a 10 year-old looking around me in confusion and telling myself, this
is all a dream and I will wake up soon and be in my lovely daddy’s arms.
Of course 14 years can’t be a dream! Or can they?
No No... I’m misleading this... it wasn’t at all sad and crying
that was ahead…
I had education, a maturing brain and heart filled with optimism
and determination, a whole set of Short stories in my English Prose book and
Eenadu Sunday booklets and guess what… A realization followed that “The real
tribute to a person is fulfilling his/her dreams” and that indeed set my path
to future. My brain somehow told me, IAS Officer was what my dad would have loved
to see me as… through the fervency of his voice when he spoke of it…
Things became simpler. There is never any point in crying or
feeling depressed about something that is completely out of your hands. The
best thing I could do is make his dream come true.
And there I was with a clear vision of what leads to what
and where… connecting all the dots... rising each step and finally at 24, with
Financial and Intellectual stability and Individuality ready to make an attempt
at my final goal that has shaped me and my life all along as though, like it is
said in the famous book ‘The Alchemist’, “And, when you want something, all the
universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
Along this journey, I realized that I was doing more than what
I had started about. Then it also became about ‘living up to my name’ which
means ‘Brightness’ and my version of it says, Brightening at least one another
person’s life. I moved with greater vigor towards becoming a part of the
system that is so influential, places you at a seat where you are responsible
for a village, a town, a district, a society at large and with high ethics and commitment,
build a place which provides equal opportunity to excel, no discrimination, and
the most of all, corruption free. This is every Indian’s Dream. India without
reservation based on class and caste, equal opportunity, safe, secure,
corruption-free and become a Developed Nation. I share it too.
I stand here at the verge of completing what I have started
to visualize and dream a long while ago. One shot at Civil Services was all I dreamt
about.
This is for you and me, Nanna garu… Love you the most now
and always…
heart touching .....!!!!!! getting tears :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiran... Don't cry! This wasn't meant for it!! :)
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