Good Olden Days they always say, it seems so true for all the 90's born people now. When we were kids, the world seemed so beautiful and we couldn't wait to grow up and enjoy the luxuries of adulthood.
Back in that time life of a middle class family was so simple yet beautiful. Home environment used to be serene and peaceful despite of middle class family struggles. There used to be an order in home where head of the family keeps it in place always. When I say head of the family, not necessarily Man, in many families the head of the family used to be Women to whom everyone including the men in the family would listen. I am not talking about gender discrimination here but it is more about family and home. Slow mornings with authentic Vishnu Sahasranama Stothram music or prayer being done in the first hour. A small conversation of entire family over coffee (for adults) and milk (for kids), where parents used to enquire about the studies and kids used to put their proposals/demands for pocket money or requirements etc. Parents discussing about any travel plans/occasions to attend and festive preparations if any etc. Followed by quick get ready session which used to be messy but we never skipped breakfast or emotional goodbyes before leaving for school/college or parents leaving for work. Those mornings were key for the family to stay and grow together.
Kids used to make noise and do a lot of mischief even in those days but there was always a sense of respect for elders, teachers and fear of getting caught or being punished. Though we all did a lot of naughty things, we never spoke back when confronted by parents or teachers. Sometimes we took beatings/lectures for mistakes which we didn't do.
Evenings used to be soothing with post snack homework and delicious home-cooked food with no questions asked. Whatever mom feeds is delicious and we never had other thoughts about dinner. Elders used to have a private conversation about financials or small family problems which were never discussed in front of kids.
The mother and father relation used to be so beautiful, though there was not much public romance or display of affection in form of posts/gifts etc. We witnessed beautiful relationships where both the partners used to have respect for each other, care and affections towards each other. All problems were sorted/discussed in the 4 walls and were never known to kids. There were instances where they yelled at each other but it was sorted soon, which was always normal. The intentions were understood than being carried away by the words. Though the words were harsh and rude, they used to understand that the other person doesn't mean what he said but wanted to make things work. For example, if a mother bursts out saying "You are irresponsible and never cares about my desires/interests", the father used to later say that she is tired and broke out but she actually wants something which is simple like a movie date or Saree for festival. If a father bursts out saying "You never let me live happily, you keep on complaining and I can't stay at home with peace at least a day", then Mother understands that he might have had a long day at work and got tired of family and work pressure and then offers a coffee or a good meal. They sort it out soon and they will be so loving after a small session of pleasing between them.
It feels so good to recollect those memories now and I wonder how beautiful our parents pulled it off. These days ideally, we start our day with a mobile in hand and a couple of calls while some random movie songs being played which makes the day start Dizzy Dazzy. We spend time looking for happiness outside and spoiling the home environment by glorifying what we see outside or glorifying the outsiders/social media influencer's lifestyle about whom we know little. We are interested in stranger's lifestyle but not keen to improve ourselves or our family lifestyle. There is one sentence in Bhagavadgita which says:
"Shreyan swa-dharmo vigunah para-dharmat sv-anushthitatswa-dharme nidhanam shreyah para-dharmo bhayavahah."
It is far better to perform one’s natural prescribed duty, though tinged with faults, than to perform another’s prescribed duty, though perfectly.
In fact, it is preferable to die in the discharge of one’s duty, than to follow the path of another, which is fraught with danger. We have to follow our lifestyle and try to improvise it by trying to follow our rituals/traditions rather than bringing in other's habits and traditions home which will eventually make you and your family a mess belonging to no tradition or no culture.
The major struggles of 90's kids are because, we were trained for something and now we are supposed to perform something else as discussed below.
1. A proper schedule and lifestyle,
2. Do you your duties in time and always do something, no couch potatoes or lazy me time.
3. Respect elders and at least listen to them when they talk
4. Help everyone and always speak with respect and "Never Say NO"
5. Respect everyone and make sure that you are appreciated for good behavior every where.
6. Studies or Work are no much deal, it is everyone's daily life and not much overrated. To elaborate, completing graduation/school, working for years in any field, doing household works, managing house or cooking for family, working hard for task assigned, all these were normal and simple tasks. No one ever complained and took a break for doing these tasks.
7. Loyalty pays, work loyally for the same employer for a decade or two and you will be rewarded well.
8. Once married/committed, don't look at others or talk to others. Stay away from any kind of deviations of friendships which might spoil your relationship. Your partner is your friend, family, soulmate and everything.
9. Less influencers and no influence of posh lifestyle or holiday fever, mandatory trips a year etc..
What we are facing now (Gen-Z):
1. If you have a proper schedule or lifestyle they say you are old and sick, you need to chiilllll.
2. If you are busy performing your duties and happy with it, they say "Why don't you relax at all, sit for a while do nothing? You should sit and relax doing nothing for sometime yaar."
3. Respect elders?? " They are old, they know nothing about current world, ask them to shut up and see what we are doing. This world is so different, they know nothing"
4. Your life and time is yours man, don't stop for everyone, just tell them to go f*** yourself.
5. Be yourself man, drink in public, wear your own style, talk anything you want anywhere and anytime. Freedom of speech and expression. They talk about hookups and divorce in marriages and talk about being generous and kind after bullying someone at their own party.
6. Completed your graduation, take a break of an year or two. You were in office for a week, then you need to take leave for a day, cooked meals for family a week, you should take rest for two or three days and eat outside. Managing family everyday, leave everyone and go for a holiday for a week or two without family***
7. You work for same company for 3 years?? You might have to reskill and move out, they don't pay once you complete 2 years and society thinks you are not talented as you don't switch companies every now and then.
8. Apart from your partner/spouse/lover, you have to have a different partner/friend (opp. gender) at work, at gym, at parties and what's wrong in chatting/flirting ? It is just a conversation***
9. Oh! You have to visit a cafe once in a week, a lavish dinner twice a month and go for a trip once in every two months and most importantly shop for all these occasions every time.
There are many such atrocities I say, for which we are not prepared but we are supposed live this lifestyle now. God bless 90's kids, you either change yourself and adjust for this culture or just get frustrated at everything and die sooner of heatstroke.
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