**“Good Old Days,” they always say—and for many of us born in the 90s, it feels true. When we were kids, the world seemed so beautiful, and we couldn't wait to grow up and enjoy the luxuries of adulthood.
Life in a middle-class family back then was simple yet meaningful. The home environment was serene and peaceful despite everyday struggles. There was always a sense of order, often maintained by the head of the family—sometimes a father, sometimes a mother—respected by everyone. It wasn’t about gender roles, but about family unity.
Slow mornings with authentic Suprabhatham by MS Subbalakshmi and then Vishnu Sahasranama Stothram music or a prayer being done in the first hour. A small conversation of entire family over coffee (for adults) and milk (for kids), where parents used to enquire about the studies and kids used to put their proposals/demands for pocket money or requirements etc. Parents discussing about any travel plans/occasions to attend and festive preparations if any etc. Followed by quick get ready session which used to be messy, but we never skipped breakfast or emotional goodbyes before leaving for school/college or parents leaving for work. Those mornings were key for the family to stay and grow together.
Kids used to make noise and do a lot of mischief even in those days but there was always a sense of respect for elders, teachers and fear of getting caught or being punished. Though we all did a lot of naughty things, we never spoke back when confronted by parents or teachers. Sometimes we took beatings/lectures for mistakes which we didn't do.
Evenings were soothing with post snack homework and delicious home-cooked food with no questions asked. Whatever mom feeds is delicious, and we never had other thoughts about dinner. Elders used to have a private conversation about financials or small family problems which were never discussed in front of kids.
Relationships between parents were built on respect, care, and understanding. Public displays of affection were rare, but love was evident in the way they supported each other. Arguments happened, but they were resolved quickly, with intentions understood beyond harsh words. For example, a mother’s frustration might really mean she longed for a simple outing, while a father’s irritation might stem from work stress. They found ways to comfort each other, and harmony was restored.
Looking back, it feels remarkable how beautifully our parents managed everything. Today, mornings often begin with mobile phones and random playlists, leaving us distracted. We chase happiness outside, sometimes neglecting the peace of home. Social media lifestyles can overshadow our own traditions. There is one sentence in Bhagavad-Gita which says:
"Shreyan swa-dharmo vigunah para-dharmat sv-anushthitat
swa-dharme nidhanam shreyah para-dharmo bhayavahah."
It is far better to perform one’s natural prescribed duty, though tinged with faults,
than to perform another’s prescribed duty, though perfectly.
“In fact, it is preferable to die while faithfully performing one’s own duty than to follow the path of another, which is fraught with danger. We have to follow our lifestyle and try to improvise it by trying to follow our rituals/traditions rather than bringing in other traditional/cultural habits home which will eventually make you and your family a mess belonging to no tradition or no culture.
### The 90s Way of Life
1. A proper schedule and lifestyle,
2. Do you your duties in time and always do something, no couch potatoes or lazy me time.
3. Respect elders and at least listen to them when they talk
4. Help everyone and always speak with respect and "Never Say NO"
5. Respect everyone and make sure that you are appreciated for good behavior everywhere.
6. Studies or Work are no much deal, it is everyone's daily life and not much overrated. To elaborate, completing graduation/school, working for years in any field, doing household works, managing house or cooking for family, working hard for task assigned, all these were normal and simple tasks. No one ever complained and took a break for doing these tasks.
7. Loyalty pays, work loyally for the same employer for a decade or two and you will be rewarded well.
8. Once married/committed, don't look at others or talk to others. Stay away from any kind of deviations of friendships which might spoil your relationship. Your partner is your friend, family, soulmate and everything.
9. Simple living and no influence of posh lifestyle or holiday fever, no FOMO etc..
### The Challenges Faced Today:
1. If you have a proper schedule or lifestyle, they say you are old and sick, you need to chiilllll.
2. If you are busy performing your duties and happy with it, they say "Why don't you relax at all, sit for a while do nothing? You should sit and relax doing nothing for some time yaar."
3. Respect elders?? " They are old, they know nothing about current world, ask them to shut up and see what we are doing. This world is so different, they know nothing"
4. Your life and time are your man, don't stop for everyone, just tell them to go f*** yourself.
5. Expression is celebrated, but boundaries are blurred. Freedom of speech and expression. They talk about hookups and divorce in marriages and talk about being generous and kind after bullying someone at their own party.
7. Having boundaries is often overlooked, patience is mistaken for weakness, and harsh words or negativity are sometimes glorified as strength.
6. Completed your graduation, take a break of a year or two. You were in office for a week, then you need to take leave for a day, after a week of home‑cooked meals, the expectation seems to be that you should treat yourself by eating out. After managing family every day, the trend is to take a week‑long holiday—without the family***
7. You work for same company for 3 years?? You might have to reskill and move out; they don't pay once you complete 2 years and society thinks you are not talented as you don't switch companies every now and then.
8.Beyond committed relationship, modern culture often emphasizes exploring multiple social connections and casual bonds (Situationships, Benching, Flirtationships, naa bondha). ***
9. Oh! You got to visit a cafe once/twice a week, a lavish dinner twice a month and go for a trip once in every two months and most importantly shop on regular basis—even without a specific need or occasion. It’s perfectly fine if you enjoy doing these things, but they’re not rituals—you won’t be cursed or left out if you don’t.
The world has changed and so have lifestyles. For 90s kids, this shift can feel overwhelming—we were raised with one set of values but now live in a culture that often celebrates another. Perhaps the answer lies in balance: cherishing the simplicity and discipline of the past while embracing the opportunities of the present, without losing ourselves or our roots.
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